Best Songs Ever: “Don’t Touch My Bikini” by The Halo Benders


Calvin Johnson is one of the most prolific, little-known musician/producer of all time. He was in more bands than I can keep track of including collaborations with several surprising artists, but my favorite collaboration is The Halo Benders made up of Johnson, Doug Martsch, and a rotating cast of cool guys. Out of all their songs this one is my hands-down favorite. It highlights the childlike enthusiasm that Calvin Johnson brought to music while at the same time pushing Martsch to a new style of guitar heroics, grrrooove.

I’m fairly certain that as a song it’s all nonsense, but out of that nonsense comes cleverness and wit that’s perfectly reflected by the ridiculous, dancey feeling from the rhythm section and the coolness oozed by the guitar hooks.

This song never fails to make me dance, in fact it’s the sole reason for several of the coolest dance moves in history as decided by me and my friends(and Calvin Johnson himself), and it will always be a staple on my summer playlists. A song of groove and genuine swagger, it will always be a Best. Song. Ever.



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